AGREEING AND DISAGREEING IN LOVE COVENENT adopted by UFW 2/24/2013
We, the members of Unity of Fort Wayne Spiritual Center, commit ourselves to applying the 12
principles of “Agreeing and Disagreeing in Love” covenant to our church business, relationships and
interactions. We ask for and welcome support from each other as we learn and grow in our abilities to
apply these principles. Our desire is that our ministry will be a demonstration of how the application of
spiritual principles can make a positive difference in an environment of diverse people and ideas.
AGREEING AND DISAGREEING IN LOVE
1. We accept Conflict: We acknowledge that conflict is a normal part of life in the church.
Romans 14:1-8, 10-12, 17-19, 15:1-7.
2. We affirm the Truth: We endeavor to see conflict as symptomatic of what’s missing in our
intention to create authentic community. Peacemaking is creating a pathway to God.
3. We commit to Prayer: We examine where we are coming from and release our need to be
right. We acknowledge that all parties have needs and pray for win/win solutions (no prayers
for my success or for the other to change). James 5:16.
4. We go to the Other: We go directly to those with whom we disagree; we avoid behind the
back criticism. We refrain from engaging in “parking lot” conversations. Matthew 5:23-24,
5. We go in the spirit of Humility: We go in gentleness, patience, and humility. We own our
part in the conflict instead of blaming others and acting as if others are responsible for how
we are. Galatians 5:1-5.
6. We are quick to Listen: We listen carefully, summarizing and checking out what is heard
before responding. We seek as much to understand as to be understood. James 1:19;
7. We are slow to Judge: We suspend judgments, end enrolling others in our position, discard
threats, and act in non-defensive and non-reactive ways. Romans 2:1-4; Galatians 5:22-26.
8. We are willing to Negotiate: We work through disagreements constructively. Acts 15;
---We identify issues, interests, and needs of all.
---We generate a variety of options for meeting all party’s needs (rather than defending our
own individual way).
---We evaluate options by how they meet the needs and satisfy the interests of all sides (not
just one side’s values).
---We collaborate in working out a joint solution (so that each side gains, grows and wins).
---We cooperate with the emerging agreement (accepting the possible, not demanding the
---We reward ourselves for each step forward, toward agreement (celebrating mutuality).
9. We are steadfast in Love: We are firm in our commitment to seek a mutual solution: we are
steadfast in acting out of Principle (doing the right thing); we are hard on issues and soft on
people. Colossians 3:12-15.
10. We are open to Peacemaking: We are open to accept skilled help. If we cannot reach
agreement among ourselves, we will use those with gifts and training in peacemaking.
11. We trust the Unity Community. We trust the wisdom of the community and if we cannot
reach agreement or experience reconciliation, we will turn the decision over to the
membership or seek assistance from the Ministry of Peacemaking. Acts 15.
12. We seek to be an expression of Christ: We are committed to peacemaking and the
demonstration of Principle rather than resorting to courts of law. Corinthians 6:1-6.